The Monster

How did I become this? How did I turn into this being that I can no longer recognize as myself, but only as a monster. The teacher says something about treating others respectfully. I can feel the blood rushing through to my head as my hands begin to sweat. I am guilty. And she knows it. I turn to the girl who I call my best friend, the one who always took control. She looks straight ahead; a poker face that looks as if the teacher just told her what two plus two was.

How did I become this? How did I turn into this being that I can no longer recognize as myself, but only as a monster. And some people, once broken a certain way, can never be restored. Like the imaginations we had as kids, the hearts we had as teens, and the minds we lost as adults. Who would’ve known that the beings God put on this earth would become fragments of a species that had potential. A species that could’ve saved each other and survived. But I have failed and I have broken in that certain way. I am forever scarred by no one but myself. I chose all the wrong things and made all the wrong decisions. I found pleasure in pain and that is what pushed me over the edge; that is what ruined me the most.

How did I become this? How did I turn into this being that I can no longer recognize as myself, but only as a monster. I look around at the people around me and see only hatred and jealousy. I see those who are not satisfied with all that they have, while others are satisfied with a metal spoon and crumbs. How did we go from pure, innocent beings of a holy garden to this? We are practically minions of the Devil; forever condemned to hell. I find myself always wanting what I don't have and leaving everything I already have in the dust. I watch people look at me like a monster because I take my life for granted and talk bad about my privileges and belongings.

We don’t deserve that Garden of Eden.You don’t deserve that garden. I don’t deserve that garden. The world we live in is beautiful, precisely because we witness the good and the bad. We are all separate people with all separate thoughts. We are beautiful creature. Humans. I think we’ve ruined our image. I am a human making human mistakes that have inhumane consequences. And as me, that is all I can do.